Disclaimer: While God is faithful and has spiritually matured me, I'm still human, I have emotions. He has never left my side and what you read about in my blog reflects my raw feelings and has already been discussed with the only one who can truly carrying me through it. I don't want anyone to get the impression that just because I've gone off to be a missionary that I'm super-human, because I'm not.
Lately, when I'm homesick I close my eyes and picture a place that brought me great memories. The image of my grandparent's living room shows up and if I focus enough I can see my grandma reading the morning paper and my grandpa cooking breakfast. I can smell the comforting aroma of coffee and fresh vegetables. I can picture the back window shades open with the morning sun beaming towards the kitchen table. The dark colored wood kitchen table, the pink recliners, white couch, grandma's high school basketball sitting on top of the book shelf and the sound of the deer bell by the door with their last name engraved.
I miss them a lot.
They did a lot for my sisters and I growing up. They prayed for us, made us sit through Bible studies (which I dreaded at a young age) took us to church, took us on long road trips to Tennessee & Kentucky and short ones to Mangum & Altus. (Go figure! Altus became a major part of my life). They taught me about history and how to appreciate it. Their wisdom of music taught me to appreciate what music has majorly been forgotten.
These are things I never want to take for granted!
Things that I miss
1) Family & Friends
2) Driving
3) Cracker Barrel
4) Shoes that fit
5) Cheaper food (this doesn't mean junk food)
6) Natural landscapes and wide open spaces (I have a bias for American scenery)
Things I Enjoy in Japan
1) Meeting people from all over the world
2) Being so different that it strikes people's curiosity as to why I'm here
3) Visiting places I had only heard about or seen on the news
4) Slowly becoming bi-lingual (I emphasis the slowly)
5) My change in comfort-levels
6) Exercise becoming a way of life, not an event
7) Feeling safe while walking down a dark alley at night by myself
I miss my dog, Minnie Pearl
When I allow myself to think about it, the uncertainty of when I will place my feet on American soil makes the homesickness stronger. I know it will never go away. However, I am indulging in the experiences available here. I know full and well I'm where God wants me. His peace still surrounds me. I pray everyday that his will and not mine is done. I pray that Japan sees him through me. I pray that this is seen as about him and not myself. I pray that I become more humble and lenient on God more than ever.
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