“In seasons of distress and grief, My soul has often found relief, And oft escaped the tempter’s snare, By thy return, sweet hour of prayer..”
Our trip to America this time was full! Full of people, places and things to see, visit and eat. We felt so energized coming back into Japan though few knew the weight bearing on our shoulders a month prior when we left. By writing this I may step on a few toes but there isn’t a way to explain this otherwise.
Back in January/February while I was out doing my daily walk I would listen to sermons, pray, listen to music and just think. During this time a lot of talking between God and I was going on. Almost out of nowhere it seemed to me that he was asking me if “I’m I sure of what I know?” Well of course, I can explain my testimony of how I became a Christian and share with others where the Lord leads about how they can receive salvation too. So, I thought this an odd nudging. However, the question persisted and later I heard a pastor online make a great case between belief and conviction.
It’s one thing to believe, but to be convicted and stand by those convictions even if you are the minority is to be more like Christ.
Traveling on in this story, this year our church received new pastors or at least we were told they were to be the new pastors. A sermon series began over the Holy Spirit. Almost right away I knew something wasn’t correct with the teaching. I sat in one service writing notes to measure up later, squirming in my seat due to the direction this service and its atmosphere was going. I need to add in here that when we first arrived at this church two years ago the teaching was sound and Biblically based. It was also non-denominational but has recently taken a Charismatic turn. Before, there was unity amongst the members as well as the missionaries working well together. Within the last year, I’ve witnessed a breakdown in communication, a lack of missionary unity and a rise in nepotism and spiritual abuse through authoritative claims. A rise in one sided preaching and not enough explanation. Many were starting to become spiritually starved or just plain confused. At the time, I couldn’t just walk away due to our commitment with the Church. Up until June I thought I was the only one feeling and seeing these changes but the Lord showed me I wasn’t.
I was studying hard to make sure “I knew what I know.” Studying intensely like the Bereans. It felt a little wrong at first to be questioning someone constantly, but when you keep hearing error or a misconstrued scripture you have no choice to hold them accountable. Basing the teaching off scripture, I was slowly gaining those convictions I needed. The direction this Church is/was taking was hindering many and they didn’t want to own up to it. We asked to be shown in the Bible many things due to their claims, but were turned down or sent down rabbit trails.
It’s apparent we needed a Church where the Bible was the infallible word of God and it could hold itself up. Not people’s supposed visions, babbling, feelings and “I experienced” testimonies. I don’t attend Church to get the warm and fuzzies. I personally need study, scripture and application to my life. I need to know more than just the love of God, but what he expects of me and how to continually strive to become more Christ-like. There are two sides of God. He is loving, but he is also the ultimate judge. You can’t keep preaching love or you are setting your disciples up for a huge letdown, a possible deadly one.
July was when the light shined through to open my eyes and Will’s of all the studying we felt led by God to do about specific things. Out of nowhere hands began to rise around us saying “Me too.” Will felt led and was asked to speak to the pastor about people who were coming to him with concerns and thoughts of leaving. The first meeting went well, however the second meeting, forced with ill timing as we were leaving the next day didn’t go so well. Theatrically speaking, we were thrown to the lion’s den for starting a made-up revolution. Each member choosing to leave had their own reasons and I can attest to you many were a surprise even to us. There were no secret clubhouse meetings. You have to understand the Holy Spirit was convicting us at this time and we were trying to figure our own paths out with God’s leading. The leaders of the Church due to not wanting to take responsibility must have thought it was easiest to pin it on us, the non-family.
Maybe this newsletter sounds grating, but I’ve always said we will be completely honest with our family, friends and supporters. It is one thing to be hurt by a Church, but God wasn’t the one hurting us. Though we have been shunned, God hasn’t turned his back on us. It’s a reminder, though this wasn’t the case that we should always put our faith fully in Christ not in people. We still have Him. He knew the timing. We went to America a little dusty by the dirt just kicked on our backs. It was the best timing for he knew what we needed. After speaking with Pastors, spiritual advisors, friends and of course God we decided to break the chain with PAZ upon our return to Japan.
We are definitely not down for the count. We never felt led to give up or leave Japan we gained more conviction on why we need to stay. Since our return we’ve visited a few Churches and have found one to attend. We began a Bible study group in our home with friends that previously left the Church and want to toss away the superficial structure we just left. It’s not about numbers to us, but about understanding the Gospel and being honest with any struggles of understanding.
Up top, I put partial lyrics to one of the most beloved classic hymns. It feels fitting to our situation. This has been a season of distress and grief in regards to spiritual matters. There’s still clean up needed and the ground feels shaky at times. But, to be released from one more attempt of the “tempter’s snare” feels like we took a giant step towards understanding God. Along with our own petitions of prayer we ask that you continue to pray for us during a new season in Japan! We love you all!
Part 2 of our newsletter will be out soon!
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